Movin' On Up

To....

A new home!!! 

That's right--we bought a house!!!

We settle and move in less than a month from now! I feel like it all happened so fast, but also so slow. We've been browsing the internet for 6+ months, then found a real estate agent and looked at several homes over the course of a month or two. Then there are contracts, counter-offers, inspections, loan applications, home insurance quotes, and the list goes on. I knew buying a house was complicated, but I didn't realize just how complicated--and stressful--it would be.

Either way, it is all worth it. We are moving back to the town where I grew up. We will be about 15 minutes from my parents (about an hour from Sean's mom, which will be an adjustment since we used to be close to her house) and 5 minutes from my best friend's house! I am very very excited to start our life together in our very first home! (Well, Sean owns a rental house in Baltimore City, but this is my first home purchase and our first major joint purchase, so it's exciting nonetheless).

The house is a bit outdated in terms of fixtures and appliances, but it's in great shape, is spacious, and has an awesome covered deck and yard out back. We love the neighborhood and can picture living there for years to come with our children (if we are blessed with children, that is). And maybe a puppy first...just to see how it goes.

In other news, my best friend since birth is HAVING A BABY today. Talk about things coming full circle. I'll be sure to post an update once the baby is born (and of course, not without her permission!).

Have a fantastic weekend, friends!

Life Lately and Goal Progress

A random photo montage of life as of late:

Some baby-wranglin':

...Some family (and friend!) time:

(that's me and my Uncle)

...Some (kind of) DIY projects:

...Some watching the Ravens dominate the AFC!!!

...Some being spoiled by my boyfriend:

(Came home to chicken with onions, peppers, and peanut sauce one random evening...smelled ((and tasted)) like heaven! )

...And some new socks, just for kicks:

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As for my Goal Progress, I've made a few small improvements:

1. Add more fresh fruits & veggies into my diet -- I have managed to squeeze in some more fresh produce throughout the day!

2. Work out more regularly -- If walking 2 miles uphill while pushing a chunky 9-month-old in a stroller counts, then YES!

3. Spend more quality time with Sean -- Still many Scrabble nights, and the other night we stayed up in bed talking for hours and it was incredible.

4. Spend more time with my friends -- Just this past weekend, we went to a friend's birthday party, and this coming Saturday we are going bowling with some more friends :-)

5. Go out to eat less often so that we have more money to save or spend on other things -- Doing very well with this one, and meals like the stellar one above make me (almost) not even miss going out so much!

6. Have enough money to take a small trip -- Sean's aunt and uncle live on a lake in Wisconsin, so we are 95% sure our "vacation" this year will include a road trip to visit them, with stops in Pittsburgh (I have family there) and Chicago (just because!). I am super pumped.

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How is your 2013 going so far?

2013 Goals

So, when I first sat down to write this post, it was going to be similar to last year's post on my 2011 goals and 2012 changes, where I vowed to "give up" goals in 2012. But then, I thought about my life, and realized that I have a lot of things I'd like to accomplish, especially because halfway through 2013 I will celebrate my 25th birthday, something that always used to feel so far off. I looked back on my 2010 goals for fun, and then came up with a list for this year.

Without further ado:

2013 Goals

Health & Fitness:

• Schedule yearly check-ups for Dentist, Primary Doctor, & Gynecologist (I have been putting this off, and it is not good!)

• Add more fresh fruits & veggies into my diet (I tend to go for frozen/canned because they are easier and often cheaper, but there are so many fruits & veggies I enjoy, and so many new ones I’d like to try!)

• Sign up for (and run!) a 5k (I have been wanting to do some sort of race for years, and my 25th birthday this June is the perfect motivation to just DO IT)

• Work out more regularly, incorporating yoga, strength training, & cardio (I do some yoga & strength training, but I have fallen off the cardio bandwagon big time…and it shows in how my clothes are getting wayyy tighter)

• Get more sleep! (I struggle with this one. I tend to stay up too late, and I need to remedy this stat!)

• Drink less alcohol and more water (This has been particularly hard because of all of the holiday shenanigans. Between Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas, and New Year’s, my liver is NOT happy with me. It is sooo easy to have a glass of wine—or three—after a long day. But it is a habit that I need to break, at least during the work week.)

Educational & Professional:

• Make it through my first year of Grad School alive! (That’s about it…not that I want to set the bar low, but I truly just want to give myself a chance to re-acclimate to the whole “school” thing again after 2+ years off.)

• Start looking into Human Resources internships while maintaining my full-time nanny position

• Set more solid goals about what specific aspect of Human Resources I am interested in (which will likely become easier once I start exploring courses in the program)

Personal:

• Spend more quality time with Sean and be the best partner I can be (A lot of times we’ll be on our various electronic devices, and we need more face time. The Scrabble board game he got me for Christmas has helped some, as we have been playing several times a week and just chatting. We also tend to eat dinner on the couch, usually at different times. I’d love to do at least 2 sit-down meals together per week.)

• Be more patient, kind, and understanding of others (I tend to get frustrated with little things like getting cut off on the highway, or someone taking too long in line at the grocery store…I need to slooow down a bit.)

• Spend more time with my friends (Life tends to get in the way, and I want to make it more of a regular thing than once every couple months like it has been lately.)

Financial:

• Pay for school without taking out a loan (I already paid for the first semester out of pocket—go me!)

• Manage to save at least $100 each month (This seems feasible to me, though it may be more or less depending on what’s going on each month.)

• Go out to eat less often so that we have more money to save or spend on other things (We get lazy and eat out or order carry-out, so even substituting one meal out with a meal in will remedy this one.)

• Have enough money to take a small trip (we are thinking a 4-day weekend somewhere fairly close, unlike the week and $1000+ we spent last summer at Cape Charles, even though it was awesome) this summer 

So, there you have it, We'll see how these all go. If I can improve in half of these areas, I'll be happy!

How do you feel about "New Year's Resolutions?" Do you set goals each year? If so, what are some of your goals for 2013?

Change. Embrace It.

Not sure if anyone follows the blog Not Salmon, by Karen Salmansohn, but it is filled with inspirational phrases, photos, and quotes to brighten each and every day. I highly recommend it.

This one really caught my eye:

Not only does it fit the "autumn" theme and the coming of the new month of October, but it rings very true to me. The world is constantly changing, you and I are constantly changing, and everyone around us is constantly changing. Change is scary, but it can also be a good thing.

This image is also a great accent to the October Yoga Challenge I am participating in with Courtney. To me, the challenge is not only about evolving physically, but also mentally. Yoga is very much a mental and spiritual experience, which is why it is called a "practice". I intend to do a follow-up on Friday about a few things I have noticed thus far (last night was my first yoga session of the month!), most of which are mental rather than physical.

But more of that on Friday. For now, think about the changes you have made in your life, and the changes you have yet to make. Some may be positive, some negative. But no matter what, accepting--and embracing--change is when the beauty can come in.

What changes have you made so far this year?

What changes would you like to make by the time 2013 rolls around? (3 months remaining--go make it happen!)

Change

Things are changing a lot around here, and I think that with the changes in my life should come some changes (mainly updates!) with my blog. I'm going to be working on some new pages, and my blog may change focus a bit in the coming months. I hope you all keep reading, and any ideas or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

So, here are a few major updates:

1. I turn 24 in 6 days. Twenty-four. When the hell did that happen?!

2. I know I have spoken briefly about wanting to possibly change career paths...and now is the time. We had an emergency staff meeting last week and learned that our government funding is being significantly cut...resulting in inevitable layoffs. I have kicked my job hunt into high gear, and I am researching graduate school options as well.

3. With the changes in career/school also come changes in my living situation. Of course I will still be living with Sean. He and I are rock solid and plan to continue our lives together for as long as...well, forever, to be quite honest. And I couldn't be happier. However, we are losing money by paying to live in the city. Is city life fun? Yes, of course. But it is expensive so we may move to a suburb of Baltimore to a smaller apartment to save money for awhile...especially if I'm out of a job soon.

4. My niece (also my goddaughter) is now 7 months old. Where has the time gone?! Can't wait to hold her in my arms again when my family visits in August.

5. My life in terms of Eating Disorder Recovery is worlds apart from where it was when I started this blog in Spring of 2009. At that time, I was miserable and scared and embarking on the journey of recovery alone. My family didn't know what was going on, and frankly, neither did I. Through a community of other bloggers, I was able to gain support that was crucial to me, and I will never be able to express to this community how grateful I am.

But, I am now in a different place. With many ups, downs, and side to sides, I think I am finally feeling "recovered". Am I totally in the clear? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But I have finally gotten to a point where, with the help of therapists, treatment centers, family, friends, and my amazing boyfriend, I accept myself. I like my body--and I weigh more now than I did BEFORE I ever had the eating disorder. I am able to work out sometimes because I want to and because it makes me feel good--not because I feel I have to. I am able to eat moderately healthy while still indulging in sweets, french fries, and lots of alcoholic beverages. I try to eat well because it makes my body feel good and gives me energy...but I don't beat myself up when I indulge because indulgences are supposed to be fun.

Do I still get those guilty thoughts now and again after skipping a run or eating one too many donuts? Sure. I'm only human. But it doesn't eat me up inside like it used to (no pun intended).

So, with this all being said, my growth has obviously warranted some personal growth on the blog. I am still going to do some Recovery-oriented posts now and then, but for the most part, I want this blog to be a reflection of my life now. I will be posting about job searching and the grad school hunt. Date ideas and mushy love stuff. Family and friends. Recipes I like. Drinks I enjoy. Workouts that make me sweat so good. Recaps of cool places I go.

I hope to blog more than once a month like I've been doing lately. My hope is that I will be able to retain readership from you guys by posting things that we all care about and can relate to. If you have any ideas on things you'd like to see/not see, topics you find interesting, or any random (constructive--be nice!) comments, please let me know here or email me.

Thanks, and if you made it through this mountain of a post, I applaud you!

Coffee Cutback: Day 1

So, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, I am trying to be more aware of how much coffee I am drinking day-to-day, and what factors surround it.

I'm proud to say that today, I only have ONE 8-ounce cup of coffee--and it was Breakfast Blend, which is lighter/less caffeinated than my usual Jet Fuel.

I may end up drinking a pick-me-up beverage later this afternoon (it is 3:00 now), but I am hoping to avoid it!

Yay me.

As for my emotions, I think the reason such a small amount of coffee was consumed today was because my workday was a lot less hectic than Fridays normally are for me. So, I guess less stress = less coffee cravings.

I'll update you more as the days go on. Tomorrow and Sunday I work half-days (4-hour shifts from noon-4pm), so I might indulge and grab a latte on my way. Hey, I am sacrificing watching the Ravens kick some Texas booty on Sunday in the Playoff game, so the least I can do is give myself some caffeine ;-)

What are your weekend plans? Like I said, I am working two half-days, but I think I'll manage in some fun tonight and tomorrow night. I also have Monday off for Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday. I haven't decided what to do that day yet--perhaps use some of my Christmas gift cards!

Cutting Back on Coffee

The name of my blog is Hot Coco(a). The tagline is "sipping through life". Clearly, I like my hot beverages, including none other than COFFEE. I can't start my morning without my daily dose of Joe.

But recently, since it's a new year and all, I've been thinking about my coffee habit and trying to analyze it (yes, I am a psychologist, could you tell?). Am I drinking coffee because I physically need it, or is it a habit that I simply do along with brushing my teeth, checking my facebook, and washing my hair (not necessarily in that order, though)?

Recently, as a Christmas gift to the staff, the head doctors here pitched in and bought my department a brand new, shiny Keurig maker. It's in the conference room every morning calling out my name--especially since they keep it well-stocked with a collection of coffees, teas, and hot cocoas.

Now, my morning routines vary from day to day--on my early days of work (aka at my desk by 7:30), I usually wait until I am at work to make a cup. But on my late days (aka don't get in until 10:30), I sometimes find myself drinking an ENTIRE POT of coffee all by myself--before I even leave my house (or my couch, for that matter).

Then, depending on the time I have in my day, my stress and energy level, and even my emotional state, I find myself turning to coffee. Much like my patients turn to drugs (and technically, caffeine is a drug, but that's a post for another day). Much like I used to turn to my eating disorder. Hmmm....the therapist wheels of my mind started turning, and here's what I am discovering:

I don't think I really NEED coffee. I honestly believe that I could function perfectly well without it. (Or, ok, with a lot less of it.) Last week, I was really busy at work, and realized that each day, I only had enough for one 8-ounce cup of coffee. And it was the perfect amount to fuel my morning.

So, I began to think "Hmm...maybe I should try to cut back on my coffee intake, even just a liiiittle".

So, here is my "plan":

I am going to attempt to monitor my coffee intake over the next few weeks. Before I change the behavior, I need to determine the factors behind it. So, I am going to try to record how much coffee I drink each day, and when, and the emotional state I am in when it occurs, including how much work I have and how much stress I have.

I am approaching the subject clinically, while still keeping in mind the importance of my emotional and mental state when it comes to my coffee consumption.

Then, I will go from there. I don't want to cut out coffee completely, because I think it tastes good and helps me start my day. My goal is simply to become more cognizant of my consumption and determine what it means.

What are your thoughts? Are you a coffee drinker? If so, how many cups (or pots--eek!) do you drink per day?

How do I write a New Year's post that isn't cliche...

...I've come to the conclusion that it just isn't possible. So, bear with me (or just skip this post if you're sick of New Year's posts).

I am not necessarily a huge fan of "New Year's Resolutions", per se. My personal opinion is: if you want something, go for it NOW, whether it's January or July!

However, there is something about the reality of time passing each year that makes us more aware of what is going on in our lives--what our goals were last year and how we did, and what our goals are for the year ahead.

Here is where I was last year and how I've measured up:

2011 Goals

Personal:

Remember: I am my #1 priority. (This is still a work in progress.)
Practice saying “No” when appropriate. (YES. I have made lots of progress on this one!)
Accept myself as I am without trying to change. (I actually want to revoke this--I think change is good...haha)
Be confident in my intelligence, beauty, and ability as a human being whether I am in a relationship or not. (I did a great job with this one by dating around and being single for awhile, and finally found a great guy once I was comfortable on my own.)
Set aside 15 minutes per day to do something completely calming for myself, like journaling, taking a bubble bath, or reading for pleasure. (I am working on this one--it's tough with a full-time job though!)
Read at least 1 book per month (12 per year). (Maybe not one per month--some months I read barely at all, other months I read a book a week. But all in all, I have done really well with this one. Thanks to my nook I received in May, it has been even easier!)
Do something social at least once a week (drinks, lunch, coffee, etc.). (I am absolutely on top of this one!)

Fitness/Health:

Maintain a healthy weight for my body & a positive relationship with food (food is fuel, & it is meant to be savored & enjoyed in moderation). (This one is up and down, as usual, but the weight is definitely steady.)
Run a 5k or 10k for a good cause (TNT?). (Noooope. Maybe this year?)
Breast Cancer Walk (Washington, D.C. in May?). (Negative.)
NEDA walk (look into this). (Another big, fat NO.)
Yoga at least twice per week (Saturday 9am class w/ Mom, video podcasts/DVDs on my own). (I am just starting to get into my practice again at home...)
Wear sunscreen/moisturizer EVERY DAY! (Proudly, YES! Skin cancer ain't no joke, folks!)


Financial:
Get a steady job, preferably in my field. (Yes, thank goodness!)
Put at least 20% of my paycheck each month towards an apartment fund. (Now about 50% of my paycheck goes towards rent. Bills aren't cheap, friends.)
Save $20 per month to put towards retirement/savings. (Proudly, I have surpassed this, both with my company's 403(b) Savings Program and my own thriftiness :-) )
Give $10 per month to a charity (NEDA?). (Ashamed to say, I have NOT done this. I must start doing this more, though!
Learn to manage my money & budget (and time!). (Still learning, but yes.)
Move into my own apartment by January 2012 (I moved into my own place in March 2011, so I was wayyy ahead on this one--woohoo! P.S. Remember how excited I was?!)



So, as you can see, I failed in some areas (ahem fitness) and rocked in others (career/financial). And you know what? I am totally ok with that. I am at a great place in my life right now with a stable job, a loving boyfriend, a roof over my head, and even some extra money each month for fun things like date nights and the occasional pair of shoes. So what if I haven't achieved all the lofty goals I laid out for myself over a year ago?

This year, I am nixing the "resolutions" and instead I vow to do three simple things: be kind to myself, be kind to others...and call my grandma more often. :-)

Happy New Year!

What is your opinion on New Year's Resolutions--love 'em or hate 'em?

A Photo Tour of My New Home

As promised, here are a few photos I snapped of my new townhome in Baltimore. I am renting from a girl named Amanda who is also my roommate. She is 24 and has a beagle named Bailey, whom I have inherited. I only just moved in, but I already feel right at home.

me in front of the front door!

living room

our awesome, spacious kitchen

my room--LOVING the exposed brick! that door also opens to a pretty large private balcony!

I get my own bathroom! It has a skylight!

Bailey, Amanda's doggie :-)

So, I have one week to settle into my new atmosphere and explore the city, especially the Canton neighborhood, before my full-time counseling position begins on March 28th! What a whirlwind my life has been! This is proof that hard work and patience and perseverance really do pay off, in recovery and in life. I have worked very hard to get where I am. A few weeks ago, I was afraid I'd be living at home forever and would never get a "real" job. Now, I am living independently and am about to start my career!

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Oh yeah, and things with The Man are going SUPER well. He drove more than an hour last night after he had worked all day, just to come see my new place in Baltimore and to hang out with me. He stayed the night, but it honestly was innocent (besides like, passionate making out haha). It was adorable. We talked and had a couple beers and stayed up til 4am. Then this morning, we woke up at 9 and laid in bed talking and cuddling for 2 more hours before we finally got out of bed and he headed home because he had to work.

I really like this guy. A lot. And I know I've said stuff like this before in the past, but it honestly feels different this time. This guy is older, so he's more mature, respectful, and intelligent than other guys I've dated. I really hope things work out between us because I think it could potentially be something wonderful.

Cross your fingers for me!

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I'm off to explore my new city! Have a wonderful Sunday and a great start to your week tomorrow...and HAPPY SPRING!

Interview

First things first:

This weekend was so much fun. I got to see my roomies again after more than a month apart. I caught up with old friends, drank some alcohol, and danced my little patootie off.

I also realized that I felt "normal" for the first time in awhile. As in, pizza for dinner, and shots of vodka, and not even worrying about the calories. It was great. My hangover on Sunday wasn't so great, but it was worth it.

So, tomorrow morning, I have a really big JOB INTERVIEW!

I don't want to disclose too much (you never know who might find you on the internet, know what I mean?), but basically, this job is in my field (Psychology), and it is a great opportunity. If I get hired, I will have a "real person" full-time job, and I'll be working in an area I have always been interested in. This really could be a dream come true for me.

I admit, I am super nervous. Like, insanely nervous. I know that's normal for big interviews, but I sometimes let my anxiety take hold more than I should. I am trying to keep up with my eating and I've been doing yoga to relax, but I am still freaking out!

Anyway, I'm off to try on my business suit for the umpteenth time, practice interviewing in front of the mirror, and doing a few cat-cow poses to help me relax.

(...And maybe eating some chocolate.)

Do you have any tips or advice for a professional interview?

It's a Goal(d) Mine

...Sorry for the cheesy post title. I guess my Dad's sense of humor is rubbing off on me since I moved back home:

In any case, let's get to it. As promised, I am going to show you my goals I had for 2010, and how I fared. Then, I will share my goals for 2011!

Ok, drumroll please........

Goals for Recovery and Life in 2010

1. Graduate from Susquehanna University in December 2010 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology (check!)

2. Get to a healthy weight for my body and maintain it (check!)

3. Add moderate exercise & activity to my schedule without abusing it (working on it…half check!)

4. Make peace with food and learn to eat intuitively (almost there…half check!)

5. Stand up for my beliefs and know how to say “no” when appropriate (still a battle)

6. Love and appreciate myself from the inside out, and to make my physical & mental health my main priority (still need to remind myself of this daily)

7. Enjoy friendships with others & participate in more spontaneous social activities (TRIPLE CHECK!)

8. Tell my family I love them each and every day (check check check!)

9. Take a trip to a place I’ve never been but have always wanted to go (visited Ryan in San Diego AND went to the Outer Banks, so I’d say this is a check!)

10. Continue to read and write for pleasure as often as possible (reading has been successful lately. Writing, not so much…)

11. Take at least 15 minutes every single day to do something to calm myself (light a candle & meditate, take a walk, paint my nails, yoga, etc)… (this needs to carry into 2011 for sure)

12. Develop a stronger sense of spirituality & a connection with a higher power (sadly, not a check.)

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2011 Goals

Personal:

· Remember: I am my #1 priority.

· Practice saying “No” when appropriate

· Accept myself as I am without trying to change

· Be confident in my intelligence, beauty, and ability as a human being whether I am in a relationship or not

· Set aside 15 minutes per day to do something completely calming for myself, like journaling, taking a bubble bath, or reading for pleasure

· Read at least 1 book per month (12 per year)

· Do something social at least once a week (drinks, lunch, coffee, etc.)

Fitness/Health:

· Maintain a healthy weight for my body & a positive relationship with food (food is fuel, & it is meant to be savored & enjoyed in moderation)

· Run a 5k or 10k for a good cause (TNT?)

· Breast Cancer Walk (Washington, D.C. in May?)

· NEDA walk (look into this)

· Yoga at least twice per week (Saturday 9am class w/ Mom, video podcasts/DVDs on my own)

· Wear sunscreen/moisturizer EVERY DAY!

Financial:

· Get a steady job, preferably in my field

· Put at least 20% of my paycheck each month towards an apartment fund

· Save $20 per month to put towards retirement/savings

· Give $10 per month to a charity (NEDA?)

· Learn to manage my money & budget (and time!)

· Move into my own apartment by January 2012

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So, there you have it. We'll see how many of those I can achieve. As you can see, some of them (like taking 15 minutes a day for myself or to be social once a week) are carried over from last year, but that's ok.

I know this is like beating a dead horse by now in the blog world, but:

What are some of your goals for 2011?