Change

Things are changing a lot around here, and I think that with the changes in my life should come some changes (mainly updates!) with my blog. I'm going to be working on some new pages, and my blog may change focus a bit in the coming months. I hope you all keep reading, and any ideas or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

So, here are a few major updates:

1. I turn 24 in 6 days. Twenty-four. When the hell did that happen?!

2. I know I have spoken briefly about wanting to possibly change career paths...and now is the time. We had an emergency staff meeting last week and learned that our government funding is being significantly cut...resulting in inevitable layoffs. I have kicked my job hunt into high gear, and I am researching graduate school options as well.

3. With the changes in career/school also come changes in my living situation. Of course I will still be living with Sean. He and I are rock solid and plan to continue our lives together for as long as...well, forever, to be quite honest. And I couldn't be happier. However, we are losing money by paying to live in the city. Is city life fun? Yes, of course. But it is expensive so we may move to a suburb of Baltimore to a smaller apartment to save money for awhile...especially if I'm out of a job soon.

4. My niece (also my goddaughter) is now 7 months old. Where has the time gone?! Can't wait to hold her in my arms again when my family visits in August.

5. My life in terms of Eating Disorder Recovery is worlds apart from where it was when I started this blog in Spring of 2009. At that time, I was miserable and scared and embarking on the journey of recovery alone. My family didn't know what was going on, and frankly, neither did I. Through a community of other bloggers, I was able to gain support that was crucial to me, and I will never be able to express to this community how grateful I am.

But, I am now in a different place. With many ups, downs, and side to sides, I think I am finally feeling "recovered". Am I totally in the clear? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But I have finally gotten to a point where, with the help of therapists, treatment centers, family, friends, and my amazing boyfriend, I accept myself. I like my body--and I weigh more now than I did BEFORE I ever had the eating disorder. I am able to work out sometimes because I want to and because it makes me feel good--not because I feel I have to. I am able to eat moderately healthy while still indulging in sweets, french fries, and lots of alcoholic beverages. I try to eat well because it makes my body feel good and gives me energy...but I don't beat myself up when I indulge because indulgences are supposed to be fun.

Do I still get those guilty thoughts now and again after skipping a run or eating one too many donuts? Sure. I'm only human. But it doesn't eat me up inside like it used to (no pun intended).

So, with this all being said, my growth has obviously warranted some personal growth on the blog. I am still going to do some Recovery-oriented posts now and then, but for the most part, I want this blog to be a reflection of my life now. I will be posting about job searching and the grad school hunt. Date ideas and mushy love stuff. Family and friends. Recipes I like. Drinks I enjoy. Workouts that make me sweat so good. Recaps of cool places I go.

I hope to blog more than once a month like I've been doing lately. My hope is that I will be able to retain readership from you guys by posting things that we all care about and can relate to. If you have any ideas on things you'd like to see/not see, topics you find interesting, or any random (constructive--be nice!) comments, please let me know here or email me.

Thanks, and if you made it through this mountain of a post, I applaud you!