Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A "Date" to...Forget.

Ok, so.

Last night, the guy I ran into at the coffee shop called and asked if I wanted to meet up for drinks. I said "Sure, why not", and we agreed on Maggie's. It is a restaurant/bar with a nice, cozy atmosphere. Fun fact: my mom used to be a waitress there when she was pregnant with me!

So, anyway. I wasn't really quite sure if this was a "date" or not, but it certainly seemed that way from the way he has been texting/calling me saying he really wants to meet up before he moves to California next week.

So, I arrived at Maggie's at around 7:45, and went inside and ordered a drink. J texted to say he would be a few minutes late, and when he finally arrived around 8:00, he apologized profusely, gave me a hug, and ordered a beer.

Then, we chatted for awhile. It was nice, I suppose, but there were definitely no sparks, and there were a few awkward silences. It ended up being kind of weird. I mean, I find myself to be a pretty decent conversationalist and a social person, but it just wasn't a great conversation. I mean, J has a lot of interesting travels and experiences to talk about, which was interesting to hear, but beyond that, I felt that there wasn't much there. Friends, and that's it.

So then came the awkward moment when the bartender asked if we'd like another round. J quickly declined (I was actually rather relieved), and so the bartender closed up our tab. J took out his credit card, and since my wallet was nearby, I took it out of my purse and kind of awkwardly held it, not sure if I was expected to pay.

Welllll, apparently, I was. J was like, "Oh, I'll put it on my card and you can just give me cash." BURRRN. I mean, I'm no snob, and I understand that the guy doesn't have a lot of money. But, heck, neither do I! I work in a coffee shop on a college campus and babysit every once in awhile, for goodness sake!

So, after we paid up, we awkwardly walked to the parking lot, where we hugged and I scurried into my car and got OUT OF THERE.

I mean, I guess I can't really complain, because I reconnected with an old friend from high school, and it wasn't a TOTAL bore. However, as my first "date" back in the single world, it was a bit disappointing.

But, I talked to my BFF on the phone about it, and she always knows how to make me feel better. She said that it was great practice for the future, and that it's probably a good thing that there weren't many sparks, because he is moving away and I am going back to school anyway. So, I guess it could have been worse. Although I did spend $6 on a mixed drink....*sigh*


In other news, I am spending the next couple days packing up my stuff because on FRIDAY I move into my apartment at school! AHHH. I can't believe my last semester of college EVER is upon me. I am sad and happy at once. Sad because I was supposed to graduate with my class in May. But happy because I finally feel like I'm at a point in my recovery where I can be on my own and stay on top of meals, school, and life. This will be my first time living independently (well, I'm in an on-campus suite with 3 other girls. I only know who one of them is, and only vaguely. So that is a bit stressful, but that's ok. I have my own room) since before my ED. I am definitely going to have my guard up, especially the first couple weeks, but I also feel completely confident that I will make it through my last semester with flying colors--and a diploma in my hands!

I am ready to join the real world, people!


What are your favorite quotes in recovery?
I want to decorate my room at school with uplifting quotes to keep me going, but I'm having a difficult time coming up with them.

One of my favorites is:

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path."


  1. Hi Coco,

    I can't believe that J said that "you can just give him cash"! Is chivalry totally dead?! Even though it was a weird, not-so-great evening, at least you know that he's probably not worth missing while you are busy being awesome at school!

    I am so excited for you to move into your apartment at school because I know that you are going to be great!

    Quotes that I like:

    "Nobody cares." (I know that this sounds harsh, but it's helpful for me to repeat to myself when ever I feel like someone else is disapproving of me or is judging what is on my plate. Truly, people have their own lives to worry about, and they don't care about judging me nearly as much as I think they do.)

    "I cannot see the outcome of the journey, but I can take the next step." (very helpful when I am getting stressed about where my life is going. It also reminds me to focus on daily successes rather than stressing about the long-term.)

    I hope that helps!


  2. After that post, I am ashamed of guys everywhere who do that. Come on! Be a gentleman and pay for your date! I can definitely sympathize though with rocky first dates after a tough break up. I am going through the same thing

    I think my favorite quote in recovery and one of my mantras is: "Just breath..." "Every little thing is going to be alright" "It does not really matter" and "A balanced life is a happy one"

  3. aw i'm sorry you had that experience, but you will find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!!

    One of my favorite quote in recovery is "Success is determined by how you handle setbacks" It always helps me to see that although ED is a setback you can gain strength and grow from it! Good luck at school :)


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