I made my choice. Tomorrow at 8:30 am, I am going inpatient for 14 days, then doing IOP after that. I am withdrawing from school for the semester and will see how things go.
I almost can't believe this. It's been a whirlwind. Just yesterday I was giving a class presentation. But last night was rough, and then today I met with my treatment team and just broke down like I never have before, and I realized that this is what needs to be done. School can wait; my health cannot. It's really that simple.
Am I scared? YES. Disappointed? A little. Nervous? YES. Worried? YES.
But am I sure this is what I need? YES, YES, and YES.
It is SO hard to admit sometimes, and part of me feels like a failure and feels weak. But that's the ED part. The real Coco knows that I am being strong by taking the real, serious steps I need towards recovery.
So, I won't be on the computer for a couple weeks, maybe even longer. I'll miss reading your posts. But I'll be back, and when I am, I am hoping I'll have gained more than just weight.