Well, I think it's going to be alright. I started IOP yesterday, and so far it seems like it's going to be just what I need. I need the support and the dinnertime meal and the groups, but I don't need to be in the hospital 24/7. Had to get bloodwork today and am going again Friday, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that I stay healthy and on track.
The IOP (though I've only done one day) is good. There are about 12 people and we do groups together and eat dinner in the cafeteria together. It's overwhelming because we get to decide what we eat, but the dieticians are there to make sure we have enough servings and items and stuff. Plus we have to have dessert and at least 2 hot meals per week (aka you can't get away with a sandwich and salad every night!). I really challenged myself right away last night by getting a hot meal and getting a hefty slice of apple spice cake with tons of sugary icing for dessert. I've realized from my blogging hiatus that it's ok to eat like a normal person and not like a health freak!!! Everything doesn't have to be organic or all-natural or meatless or gluten-free. Our dieticians teach us ALL THINGS IN MODERATION. I have been following the meal plan to a tee and have never felt better! I can have carrots and hummus with my lunch but also have a bakery cookie!
Balance is health. Balance is happiness. There are no good or bad foods!!!
The con to this week? It sounds awful and mean, but my grandparents are "visiting", aka my parents don't trust my ED and my 80+ year old grandparents are here "babysitting" my 21-year-old perfectly comepetent ass. Oh well, I've just been going about my business. My grandma doesn't understand anorexia AT ALL. She doesn't seem to realize that offering me homemade fudge and cookies and lasagna and casseroles isn't really my idea of fun. My parents and I explained the meal plan and all to her, but she just doesn't understand. She makes comments about food all the time and about how I should eat more. It's really difficult. And especially with my history of bingeing!!!
They are only here for 2 more days, so I'll manage.
Anyway, tomorrow night is family night where our family can eat with us and attend a group afterwards. We'll see how it goes. I am going to just take my mom, I think. And then my dad next week. Grandparents = nope. I love them to death, but trying to explain my struggles with them is futile.
Well, I'm off to IOP!
Have a wonderful day, and stay safe.