Hello, blogworld!
I apologize for my lack of postage lately. Even when I do post, it's been short and boring these days, so I'm sorry.
Things have been up and down lately. First of all, I might as well come out and tell you my big news:
I am a bit disappointed and upset about this, but I know it's the right decision for me right now. Originally, the plan was for me to move back into my off-campus house and attend classes full-time, graduating on-time in May 2010. However, I haven't made much progress in the weight department, and I struggled a lot with my meal plan over the holidays due to ED-related thoughts, so I have decided that returning to school where I would be practically unsupervised would be a mistake.
My parents, therapists, and I have come up with an alternate plan that I think will actually prove to be quite positive:
I am going to be living at home this semester and will be attending classes at Towson University, which is about 35 minutes from my house and literally right next to my ED treatment center. I am going to take a lighter course load (3 courses), and I plan on taking elective credits that interest me. Then, if all goes well, I will return to Susquehanna U. next fall and will graduate in December 2010, only one semester late.
At first I was upset about this plan, but the more I think about it, the more I think it is the best possible choice. This will allow me to take classes I enjoy, like French and Philosophy, without having the pressure of graduation looming in the near future. I also will be able to continue my therapy with Anne, who I have come to really trust in the past 7 months. Plus, I'll have the support of my family right here every day. And I can always visit my college friends whenever I want, as I'll still be paying rent on our apartment.
Besides, I know some people that go to TU (like my cousin!), so maybe this won't be such a bad thing. I'm still in the process of smoothing out all the details, but pretty soon I'll be enrolling in classes and getting my books!
******************
On the ED front, things are sort of stagnant. I'm not doing any worse, really, but I'm not doing much better either. My weight is still a bit below my goal, and I am struggling with body image and guilt associated with food. I have been working on it, though, and I am confident that I WILL recover.
Classes don't start for another 2 weeks, so I have some free time. I visited with my SU friends this past weekend, and it was a lot of fun. I lost some money at the casino, and danced the night away at the bar. It really was nice to see those girls after so long. I would post pictures, but we didn't take any! Boo.
I am using my mom's crockpot to make greek chicken, and the smell is divine! It is chicken thighs with a lemon broth, oregano, and kalamata olives, and I am going to serve it over rice with peas on the side, and perhaps some dinner rolls and a glass of wine. Divine! I have gotten more comfortable being in the kitchen again, and I actually ENJOY food again (Even if I still feel guilty afterwards. But I look at it as progress, because in the past I used to get anxious before AND after meals, and now I don't as much.).
I'll stop rambling about anorexia, because let's be honest--it's lame and I am so much more than this stupid disorder.
************************
In other news, last week we had the carpet in our family room ripped out and replaced with gorgeous hardwood flooring! Now the entire first floor, besides the library and laundry room, is hardwood! It looks absolutely gorgeous, especially at night when the fireplace reflects on the oak. I have been spending much of my recent time assisting my parents in their redecorating (buying rugs and lamps and such). Everyone was so impressed with how well my bedroom came out (I MUST post photos), so now I am, according to my mother, an HGTV certified designer due to my many ridiculous hours spent watching all of the HGTV Network's shows.
Ok people, I'm probably close to losing your attention by now (if I haven't already), so I'm signing out......
*********
P.S. I just came back to edit this post and add pictures to it, and I am upset because I can't find the USB cord to my camera ANYWHERE! I'm worried that my brother may have accidentally taken it with him to San Diego! What on earth am I going to do?!?!
Things have been up and down lately. First of all, I might as well come out and tell you my big news:
I will NOT be returning to my college next week.
I am a bit disappointed and upset about this, but I know it's the right decision for me right now. Originally, the plan was for me to move back into my off-campus house and attend classes full-time, graduating on-time in May 2010. However, I haven't made much progress in the weight department, and I struggled a lot with my meal plan over the holidays due to ED-related thoughts, so I have decided that returning to school where I would be practically unsupervised would be a mistake.
My parents, therapists, and I have come up with an alternate plan that I think will actually prove to be quite positive:
I am going to be living at home this semester and will be attending classes at Towson University, which is about 35 minutes from my house and literally right next to my ED treatment center. I am going to take a lighter course load (3 courses), and I plan on taking elective credits that interest me. Then, if all goes well, I will return to Susquehanna U. next fall and will graduate in December 2010, only one semester late.
At first I was upset about this plan, but the more I think about it, the more I think it is the best possible choice. This will allow me to take classes I enjoy, like French and Philosophy, without having the pressure of graduation looming in the near future. I also will be able to continue my therapy with Anne, who I have come to really trust in the past 7 months. Plus, I'll have the support of my family right here every day. And I can always visit my college friends whenever I want, as I'll still be paying rent on our apartment.
Besides, I know some people that go to TU (like my cousin!), so maybe this won't be such a bad thing. I'm still in the process of smoothing out all the details, but pretty soon I'll be enrolling in classes and getting my books!
******************
On the ED front, things are sort of stagnant. I'm not doing any worse, really, but I'm not doing much better either. My weight is still a bit below my goal, and I am struggling with body image and guilt associated with food. I have been working on it, though, and I am confident that I WILL recover.
Classes don't start for another 2 weeks, so I have some free time. I visited with my SU friends this past weekend, and it was a lot of fun. I lost some money at the casino, and danced the night away at the bar. It really was nice to see those girls after so long. I would post pictures, but we didn't take any! Boo.
I am using my mom's crockpot to make greek chicken, and the smell is divine! It is chicken thighs with a lemon broth, oregano, and kalamata olives, and I am going to serve it over rice with peas on the side, and perhaps some dinner rolls and a glass of wine. Divine! I have gotten more comfortable being in the kitchen again, and I actually ENJOY food again (Even if I still feel guilty afterwards. But I look at it as progress, because in the past I used to get anxious before AND after meals, and now I don't as much.).
I'll stop rambling about anorexia, because let's be honest--it's lame and I am so much more than this stupid disorder.
************************
In other news, last week we had the carpet in our family room ripped out and replaced with gorgeous hardwood flooring! Now the entire first floor, besides the library and laundry room, is hardwood! It looks absolutely gorgeous, especially at night when the fireplace reflects on the oak. I have been spending much of my recent time assisting my parents in their redecorating (buying rugs and lamps and such). Everyone was so impressed with how well my bedroom came out (I MUST post photos), so now I am, according to my mother, an HGTV certified designer due to my many ridiculous hours spent watching all of the HGTV Network's shows.
Ok people, I'm probably close to losing your attention by now (if I haven't already), so I'm signing out......
*********
P.S. I just came back to edit this post and add pictures to it, and I am upset because I can't find the USB cord to my camera ANYWHERE! I'm worried that my brother may have accidentally taken it with him to San Diego! What on earth am I going to do?!?!
lovely to hear from you again girl! i'm proud of your decision to stay home, even though it was obviously a tough one. even though you will be graduating a semester late, you do get some joy-classes and, just remember, you have your entire life after college! what's one more semester, right? and that's one more semester you have to kick ED out so you can enjoy your life, which i know you can do!
ReplyDelete♥ lindsey
Good to hear from you and it sounds like you made the right decision for you and your recovery...Please stay strong and don't give up, keep fighting girl because it's worth it and you're so worth it!
ReplyDeletexxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Glad everything worked out for you this semester! Sounds like a great plan;)
ReplyDelete