Only Tuesday

How can it be only Tuesday?! Last week flew by, and this one is barely crawling. Does anyone else feel this way?

I would be more excited about the GLEE! Premiere tonight if I didn't have night class. Therefore, I'm going to have to catch up online later tonight or tomorrow--so don't spoil it for me, fellow Gleeks!

Anyway, thanks for your support on my last post! It was definitely an emotional weekend when I stopped to look back on this past year and the troubles I've faced, but I still managed to have a good time.

In fact, I am beginning to think maybe I'm having too much fun this last semester of college. I know I'm making up for lost time and all that, and I know I'm 22 and this is my last chance to party before joining the "real world", but I can't help but question myself. I like to have fun and be social and go out and get a little tipsy and dance and flirt and even kiss a few lucky men, but the past couple weeks have been out of control.

This past Saturday, I was up until the sun came up. It was 6am on Sunday when I finally fell asleep--in someone else's bed. I know that sounds totally slutty of me, and well, it kind of is. Which is why I am really starting to think twice about my alcohol consumption on the weekends. Just because people justify binge drinking and doing drugs and having sex with multiple partners by saying "Oh, it's just college", or "I'm young, now's the time to do that", it still doesn't make it healthy. I woke up Sunday morning--ok, more like afternoon--feeling sick to my stomach and emotionally distraught as well. This is the 4th time I have hooked up with this one particular guy, and I know that he is basically using me for sex. We were both very very intoxicated when things occurred this weekend. And although I sometimes hang out with him sober (he even came to visit me at work on Sunday) and he is a nice guy, I really don't want to get emotionally involved with someone who is willing to take advantage of me like that. I mean, I take full responsibility for my actions, and he was just as drunk as I was, if not worse, but still. Our relationship, if it can even be called that, is so confusing. It's a pattern of hook-up on the weekends, maybe talk sporadically during the week, and act like friends when we are sober. But then when we're at a party together and he holds my hand and walks me home and kisses me and then wants me to spend the night so we can cuddle, it makes things so much more confusing. I keep telling myself that I don't have feelings for him and that I'm totally cool with this casual "friends with benefits" relationship. But I know deep down that I'm not okay with it. I deserve to be respected, as a friend and as a woman.

So, I'm not sure what this even means, or why I posted about such a personal topic (my sex life--yikes!) on this blog. However, saying it out loud (or technically, "typing" it out loud) makes it real. I need to think through the consequences of my actions, both physical and emotional, before I go through with something. Hopefully next weekend I will have fun but still manage to remain respectful of myself.

What are your opinions on college partying? Is it normal and acceptable and something everyone should experience, or do you think destructive behaviors are a dangerous epidemic among college students?

I fall somewhere in between. I see no problem with enjoying your youth and having fun, but I also think that too much drinking, sex, smoking, etc, can be incredibly detrimental to your physical--and mental--health.