Monday, September 13, 2010

With the Good Also Comes the Bad

Hello, friends. Happy Monday!
I hope everyone had a relaxing, fulfilling weekend.

My life has been crazy lately. I am getting back into the school/work/homework/sleep routine, and it's been difficult at times, but I am managing. I already have a lot of quizzes, projects, meetings, and reading, but I am making sure to take time each day to read for pleasure, or take a walk, or do a few restorative yoga poses. It is definitely worth it to carve out 15 minutes of "me" time each day--I feel so much better, and am more productive overall!

So, the title of my post basically sums up my situation right now.

Some positives in my life recently are:

1. A great roommate situation. The girls in my apartment are fantastic, and we have really grown close.

2. A crazy social life! I feel like I am really having fun here. I have made girl friends and guy friends, and I have been letting loose on the weekends and allowing myself to drink and snack without feeling any guilt whatsoever. This is a huge deal for me. For example, last Thursday, I was getting ready to go to bed around 9:30pm when my friends invited me to the bar for drinks. Ordinarily, this would freak me out because it is sporadic and unplanned. However, I was actually pleased and excited to be invited out, and I ended up going and having a wild and crazy time. Ok, so maybe I regretted the tequila shot and 3 beers the next day because of my headache, but I did not berate myself about it. And I didn't once worry about the calories. This is amazing to me. I am so proud of myself.

3. I got to see my mom, cat, and best friend this Friday. I went home because my mom was having a party, and it was nice to see some familiar faces--and sleep in my big Queen-sized bed at home!

But, as always, with the good comes the bad. That's life.

Bad things recently:

1. I had my first quiz in my Learning & Motivation class...and it was incredibly difficult. I am not looking forward to getting my grade on that one.

2. There was a guy who I was interested in who has pretty much blown me off. I'm trying not to dwell on it, and I want to enjoy my singledom, but it's still a bit of an ego killer.

3. My grandfather, who is 84 years old, had to have emergency open heart surgery this past Friday. When my mom and dad called with the news, I was shocked and upset. Luckily, he has been recovering well, and is out of the intensive care unit, but still has to stay in the hospital for the next week so he can be monitored. I know that he is old, and that life and death are natural cycles, but it still is difficult to know that someone close to me is deteriorating. My grandparents live in Pittsburgh, which is a good 4 hours from my college, but I think I am going to make the journey out there sometime in the next week or so. Family is worth it.


So, things have been good and bad. And that's ok. I am dealing, and I am dealing in a much healthier way than I would have dealt even a few months ago.

Do I still feel the urge to restrict when I'm upset, or to go run 5 miles? Yes. I won't lie and say those thoughts don't cross my mind. They do, often more than I'd like them to. However, I am learning to ignore those thoughts and to realize that starving myself to avoid my feelings is not only unhealthy, it is downright dangerous. My body is precious, and I really need to take care of it--and fuel it--properly.

What are your favorite self-soothing techniques? Mine as of late involve yoga, breathing exercises, and losing myself in a good book.


  1. Hey Coco,
    I just found your blog and I'm really glad I did! I can relate to a lot of what you're going through in your recovery. You should be so proud of yourself for being able to ignore the ED thoughts and recognizing that starving or over-exercising is NOT worth it! :-) I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather and the other things that are difficult right now, but glad to hear that other things are going so well! AMAZING that you were able to go out with your friends, have spontaneous fun, and not worry about calories at all! What a huge accomplishment!
    Looking forward to reading more from you! Hope the rest of your week goes well.

  2. I use the same soothing techniques. Yoga and stretching are really wonderful. I also really, really like to listen to music. Depending on my mood I will listen to jazz, pop, rap, rock, whatever but it always puts me in a great mood.



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