I don't even know where to begin with this post.
This has easily been the weirdest, most exciting/random/exhilarating/scary/FUN semester of my entire college career.
So, first things first: let me update you on my date last Monday. D arrived a little late due to lots of rain & traffic, but he got here around 6pm. We walked into town for a nice dinner, which he bought. We had good conversation, and I felt an attraction to him. The major turnoff physically was his height, but I'm not a mega-bitch and it really didn't bother me that much.
So, after dinner, we came back to my place and just hung out and watched a movie and chatted, which was nice. Then we started making out....and then somehow all of my clothes were off. Um, oops. I honestly did NOT want to do that! But I guess I was living in the moment. Anyway, he ended up staying the night and leaving early in the morning before my 10am class. It was a really nice time, and he seemed like a really sweet guy. Basically, we agreed to just kinda see what happens and maybe hang out again when we're both available. But since he goes to school 3 hours away, and I am graduating soon, we talked about how a big commitment just isn't in the cards right now.
So, I thought things were good. Then, almost as soon as he left, D texted me. And then he texted me again. And again. And again. Basically, this guy is INTENSE. He literally has texted/called me/IMed me NONSTOP in the past week since our date. At first I thought it was cute to get messages about how beautiful and awesome I am, but it is really starting to freak me out. He tells me how much he misses me, but we've only hung out ONCE. And he got jealous when I told him I was STUDYING with my friend Adam for a test. Like, seriously?! If he's this possessive and clingy when we're NOT EVEN DATING, what would he be like in a relationship???
So, 2 nights ago, I had a serious chat with D on the phone. Basically, he is really into me and wants to "make this work". But, I feel like I don't want to commit to someone I hardly know. He already is talking about visiting me again next week, and he wants to see me over Thanksgiving Break. I just feel smothered. He is a nice guy, and attractive, and smart, and funny, but I can't take this constant communication. In fact, he literally just sent me a message right this second.
HELP!
**************************
So, last night was another interesting evening, but in a much more positive way! I went to a Breast Cancer Awareness event held by ZTA called "Real Men Wear Pink", which was entertaining and fun. Then I went out to a party and to the bar with some friends, including my roommate Kelly, who I've grown incredibly close with. She is the only roomie I've told about my ED, and I really feel like I can trust her.
So, there was this guy I'll call B who I ended up meeting up with last night. We met last weekend, and he is the sweetest boy ever! He plays football for our school, but he isn't your cliche "meathead" jock. He's an art major and he is really intelligent and funny and interesting. Lookswise, he's not the hottest man alive, but his personality MORE than makes up for it. And he is pretty cute. So, last night we went to the bar together and he bought me a drink and we talked. Then, I went back to his place with him to hang out and talk and watch a movie. He showed me his art (which was incredibly impressive!) and then we just cuddled a little and he gave me a little peck on the lips and I fell asleep there!
Nothing sexual happened...and it was perfect. Seriously. He was a really nice guy with a good heart, and I hope I see him again.
I still am not looking for anything serious right now, but I'm sick of random hookups all the time. I'm sick of guys texting me at 3am asking me to come over. I don't want to be that girl. I'm ashamed that I even let myself become that girl for one guy, let alone 2 or 3. As of now, I need to make my boundaries clear. And this B guy seems to really respect women. He is close friends with one of my close friends, and she has told me how sweet he is.
So, today he texted me to say hi. We'll see what happens. As long as he doesn't go psycho on me like D, perhaps I'd rather hang with this guy instead. Or both? haha.
Anyway, people, give me advice. I need the male and female perspectives here:
What's the deal with D--is he really just a nice guy who doesn't realize how smothering he is being, or does he seem like a creeper who would only be possessive and overbearing in a relationship?
(Oh, I also had a huge test last week, 2 essays, and I have another test this week....So, it's not ALL fun and games my last semester of college :-P)
This has easily been the weirdest, most exciting/random/exhilarating/scary/FUN semester of my entire college career.
So, first things first: let me update you on my date last Monday. D arrived a little late due to lots of rain & traffic, but he got here around 6pm. We walked into town for a nice dinner, which he bought. We had good conversation, and I felt an attraction to him. The major turnoff physically was his height, but I'm not a mega-bitch and it really didn't bother me that much.
So, after dinner, we came back to my place and just hung out and watched a movie and chatted, which was nice. Then we started making out....and then somehow all of my clothes were off. Um, oops. I honestly did NOT want to do that! But I guess I was living in the moment. Anyway, he ended up staying the night and leaving early in the morning before my 10am class. It was a really nice time, and he seemed like a really sweet guy. Basically, we agreed to just kinda see what happens and maybe hang out again when we're both available. But since he goes to school 3 hours away, and I am graduating soon, we talked about how a big commitment just isn't in the cards right now.
So, I thought things were good. Then, almost as soon as he left, D texted me. And then he texted me again. And again. And again. Basically, this guy is INTENSE. He literally has texted/called me/IMed me NONSTOP in the past week since our date. At first I thought it was cute to get messages about how beautiful and awesome I am, but it is really starting to freak me out. He tells me how much he misses me, but we've only hung out ONCE. And he got jealous when I told him I was STUDYING with my friend Adam for a test. Like, seriously?! If he's this possessive and clingy when we're NOT EVEN DATING, what would he be like in a relationship???
So, 2 nights ago, I had a serious chat with D on the phone. Basically, he is really into me and wants to "make this work". But, I feel like I don't want to commit to someone I hardly know. He already is talking about visiting me again next week, and he wants to see me over Thanksgiving Break. I just feel smothered. He is a nice guy, and attractive, and smart, and funny, but I can't take this constant communication. In fact, he literally just sent me a message right this second.
Someone PLEASE give me advice. ASAP. I don't know what to do.
I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I don't necessarily want to completely kick him to the curb, either. I had a lot of fun on our date, and he seemed like such a cool guy. But his behavior in the last week has really freaked me out, and he doesn't seem to understand my position.
I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I don't necessarily want to completely kick him to the curb, either. I had a lot of fun on our date, and he seemed like such a cool guy. But his behavior in the last week has really freaked me out, and he doesn't seem to understand my position.
HELP!
**************************
So, last night was another interesting evening, but in a much more positive way! I went to a Breast Cancer Awareness event held by ZTA called "Real Men Wear Pink", which was entertaining and fun. Then I went out to a party and to the bar with some friends, including my roommate Kelly, who I've grown incredibly close with. She is the only roomie I've told about my ED, and I really feel like I can trust her.
So, there was this guy I'll call B who I ended up meeting up with last night. We met last weekend, and he is the sweetest boy ever! He plays football for our school, but he isn't your cliche "meathead" jock. He's an art major and he is really intelligent and funny and interesting. Lookswise, he's not the hottest man alive, but his personality MORE than makes up for it. And he is pretty cute. So, last night we went to the bar together and he bought me a drink and we talked. Then, I went back to his place with him to hang out and talk and watch a movie. He showed me his art (which was incredibly impressive!) and then we just cuddled a little and he gave me a little peck on the lips and I fell asleep there!
Nothing sexual happened...and it was perfect. Seriously. He was a really nice guy with a good heart, and I hope I see him again.
I still am not looking for anything serious right now, but I'm sick of random hookups all the time. I'm sick of guys texting me at 3am asking me to come over. I don't want to be that girl. I'm ashamed that I even let myself become that girl for one guy, let alone 2 or 3. As of now, I need to make my boundaries clear. And this B guy seems to really respect women. He is close friends with one of my close friends, and she has told me how sweet he is.
So, today he texted me to say hi. We'll see what happens. As long as he doesn't go psycho on me like D, perhaps I'd rather hang with this guy instead. Or both? haha.
Anyway, people, give me advice. I need the male and female perspectives here:
What's the deal with D--is he really just a nice guy who doesn't realize how smothering he is being, or does he seem like a creeper who would only be possessive and overbearing in a relationship?
(Oh, I also had a huge test last week, 2 essays, and I have another test this week....So, it's not ALL fun and games my last semester of college :-P)
I'm glad you're enjoying this semester!!!!
ReplyDeleteHmm... Tough call on D, but I'd have to say he seems like a creeper who would only be possessive and overbearing in a relationship. What really got me is the jealousy thing of you STUDYING with another guy... Gimme a break! Before that I thought "Well, maybe he'll settle down", but that extent of jealousy never leads to good things, in my opinion. Good luck Coco and keep us updated! <3
OMG. Your D sounds just like mine.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was cute and sweet too. But you know how hard it was for me to break up with him? He is STILL texting me and wanting to see me all the time, six weeks later. I thought we could just be friends, hang out and have fun. But its become really obvious that he can't handle that.
I suggest you do your best to disengage this boy now before his feelings for you progress and giving him the boot becomes even harder.
Go for B, not really liking D...:)
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteWhat you said about D reminded me of my ex... and not in a good way. We were in a relationship for three months and it wasn't all that serious to me (and he knew that) but he was talking about moving in together, going on holiday together etc. I broke up with him (for various other reasons as well) and six months later he is still texting/writing/mailing and stalking my friends. B sounds like a winner, go for him!
Love, DameNoire
It hard to give guy advice over the internet! I dont even know him or you for that matter haha BUT i would say if your heart is not in it right away DONT go for it!
ReplyDeleteDana xo