So, it's a gorgeous day outside, and I would LOVE to go for a run or even just a leisurely walk....but alas, I'm still not allowed. My weight is by no means dangerous anymore, but I am still a few pounds from my goal weight. Which means, no exercise for the time being (besides light everyday activity).
So, my parents both headed out to the YMCA over an hour ago to work out, and I had to stay here, and eat. And sit. And read.
Part of me is very frustrated by this. I want to be healthy enough to work out and feel in shape. However, I do agree with my treatment team and parents that I don't want to become a gym addict again, running mile after mile on the treadmill simply because it burns calories. I am proud of myself because I honestly have not set foot in a gym or on a treadmill in probably a year, besides when I was taking yoga once a week.
I guess this is good incentive for me to keep pushing. For some reason, I always get to this point where I am XXX pounds, and going to the next level is scary for me. This is exactly what happened a few months ago when I relapsed. I can't let that happen again. My LAST SEMESTER EVER OF COLLEGE starts on August 30th, and I need to be at least XXX pounds to attend. I am so close, so I don't want to mess it up now.
In other news, I finally saw the boy the other night, very briefly! He drove 4 hours just to see me! hehe. I have also been invited to the beach in North Carolina with his family (4 younger brothers--whoah!), so I am going to be at the Outer Banks from the 17th thru the 20th of July. I am anxious and nervous for a variety of reasons (body image/bathing suit issues, food, social anxiety, etc), but I am sure it will be ok. B is looking out for me. Thank goodness for that man.
Well, I'm off to do something--maybe retail therapy?! Later.
What is your favorite way to de-stress when you are feeling anxious? I have a variety of coping skills, like shopping, reading, taking a walk, watching a funny movie, stretching, or calling a friend.