*Sigh*......
So, it's a gorgeous day outside, and I would LOVE to go for a run or even just a leisurely walk....but alas, I'm still not allowed. My weight is by no means dangerous anymore, but I am still a few pounds from my goal weight. Which means, no exercise for the time being (besides light everyday activity).
So, my parents both headed out to the YMCA over an hour ago to work out, and I had to stay here, and eat. And sit. And read.
Part of me is very frustrated by this. I want to be healthy enough to work out and feel in shape. However, I do agree with my treatment team and parents that I don't want to become a gym addict again, running mile after mile on the treadmill simply because it burns calories. I am proud of myself because I honestly have not set foot in a gym or on a treadmill in probably a year, besides when I was taking yoga once a week.
I guess this is good incentive for me to keep pushing. For some reason, I always get to this point where I am XXX pounds, and going to the next level is scary for me. This is exactly what happened a few months ago when I relapsed. I can't let that happen again. My LAST SEMESTER EVER OF COLLEGE starts on August 30th, and I need to be at least XXX pounds to attend. I am so close, so I don't want to mess it up now.
**********************
In other news, I finally saw the boy the other night, very briefly! He drove 4 hours just to see me! hehe. I have also been invited to the beach in North Carolina with his family (4 younger brothers--whoah!), so I am going to be at the Outer Banks from the 17th thru the 20th of July. I am anxious and nervous for a variety of reasons (body image/bathing suit issues, food, social anxiety, etc), but I am sure it will be ok. B is looking out for me. Thank goodness for that man.
Well, I'm off to do something--maybe retail therapy?! Later.
What is your favorite way to de-stress when you are feeling anxious? I have a variety of coping skills, like shopping, reading, taking a walk, watching a funny movie, stretching, or calling a friend.
T destress I play Sudoku (the harder the better)- yes very uncool i admit, but i don't care because I like it!
ReplyDeleteTO destress, i shower, shave my legs, go to the theatre, walk, or hang out with my friends
ReplyDeleteI know this can be tough, but you're doing the right things. I even answered a question about this in my last post! Stay strong girl!
ReplyDeletexxx
good on you for not working out at a weight that is not considered medically healthy. i have to be honest and say that even though i am at a healthy weight i still can't exercise cause i seem to lack the energy. maybe it's my low iron that is causeing it. but right now that means to me all i can do is yoga or slow swimming but nothing more.
ReplyDeleteFIVE BIG HOORAYS FOR SUCH AN AWESOME GOAL! You're gonna feel so awesome when you're workin' on your fitness in a bod that is completely ready for it!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and am already loving it!
I live a few hours away from Outer Banks in Virginia - it's beautiful there! If I could, going there would be my stress busting tactic - however, I usually resort to retail therapy as well, or listing things I'd like to do, places I'd like to go, books I'd like to read, etc. It's really inspiring :)
Hey girlie! I just found your blog and it's so adorable! You too are a gorgeous girl :)
ReplyDeleteI like to bake or cook when I'm stressed out. Somehow working in the kitchen with my hands occupied calms me down. I love kneading bread dough when I'm angry too. Haha I just imagine the dough is something I'm frustrated about and I punch it real hard!
I know exactly how you feel- for what seemed like forever (when in reality it was only about 5 months), i was soooo against getting to my goal weight. I would linger just a few pound below. Well, i'm finally here. IT scares the hell out of me but iknow it is what is best. & turns out, i dont feel so different :) in fact, i feel better. I encourage you to push through, just DO IT, & get there . you'll be amazing!!! love your coping skills..they are so important to have. I love to do something crafty :)
ReplyDeleteHi Coco,
ReplyDeleteI am definitely relating to your feelings about ED preventing you from exercise. I just had a horrible weekend of not having as much energy as I wanted. I have so much faith that you will soon be able to run, jump, jog, swim, hike, and all of those other wonderful exercises. We can do this!
That's weird that you can't comment on my blog. Hmmm...I kind of had a similar problem though. I can't comment on Jenna's Journey (http://jennaelise.blogspot.com/) for some reason when I am using Mozilla Firefox, but I discovered that I can comment on her blog when I use Internet Explorer. It's totally weird because hers is the only blog that I have that problem with. Maybe try a different browser? If it still doesn't work, you can always email me at emily.hernandez444@gmail.com and I will totally get back to you. Thank you for wanting to comment!
-Emily