Our BBQ went well--I had a hot dog and some beer and a mixed drink, and felt rather pleased with myself. I even had some ice cream right before bed (around midnight!!) because I was feelin' a little hungry again. I'm really trying to tune in to my hunger/fullness cues, and to realize that to allow myself to feel hunger and to satisfy that hunger is not only ok, but it is essential! Why oh why did I keep myself from living for so long?
Anyway, the BBQ was great. Lots of relatives and friends, including the 2 adorable little boys I often babysit. I got the most adorable photo of the 2-year-old wearing a big hat that I will have to upload later.
In other news, my mom randomly decided to buy a car. Well, not exactly randomly. She paid off her 2005 Toyota Camry awhile ago, and had been looking for something newer, like a Mercedes or BMW (I'm not a spoiled rich girl, I swear! My current car is a 2001 and my first car in high school was a beat-up Saturn that didn't always start in the morning).
But, she decided that those cars were too expensive, and even though she technically can afford it, she wanted something that was still nice but not THAT pricey. So, she got herself a terrific deal on a 2010 Acura TL. It is awesome, and it has a navigation system and it can download music to it--like having a computer or iPod in your car! It also has live weather and traffic reports, and it's super pretty and nice. Maybe in a few years I can "inherit" it....although mom says she's gonna be keeping this one for quite some time, since it's so nice.
Besides cars and parties, not too much is happening. Today, as it was too scorchingly hot to go outside, I decided to make myself productive inside by filing bills and papers, emptying drawers and closets of my junk, and overall organizing things. I came across some old cards & letters I received from my friends when I left school last fall to go into treatment. I ended up sitting on my bed and reading them and crying for half an hour. It wasn't a bad cry or a good cry. Just a needed cry. I am sad to see where I was at my lowest point, both physically and emotionally, and it brought everything back to me. However, I am proud of myself for pushing through this and coming out even stronger than ever before.
I also found lots of old birthday/christmas/(insert occasion here) cards that I saved from years past. Those were fun to look at.
Does anyone else have a problem with keeping things? I know I do, especially when they hold sentimental values, like photos or handwritten cards & letters.
Hi Coco,
ReplyDeleteI do keep the things that are special memories to me, like cards and pictures. Whenever I feel myself getting caught up in the chaos of the present, those memories of friends and family are great reminders of what is really important.
I hear you on wanting to get better at intuitive eating, and I know that you will get there with time. You probably won't even realize it when it clicks. You might just be at the mall one day and decide that a jamba juice sounds really good. It wasn't in your meal plan for that day, but you get one because you know that it will nourish your body and mind. I'm looking forward to that day myself. Stay strong, and you'll get there!
-Emily
I'm in the DC area, too....and I'm dying in this heat! Waaah! The weather is crazy!
ReplyDeleteI keep all my letters and photos, cards, everything...I have several boxes under my bed full of that.
you sound like you are doing so well- i am really proud of you!!! good job w/ the 4th of july stuff :) & your mom's car sounds really nice.
ReplyDeleteit is definitely hard to look back on the worst times, but i agree that it is so rewarding to be able to realize how far we have come.
aw its so awefully hot here too in europe. it's insane! i need more cold please ;)
ReplyDeletei do have a problem with keeping things when it comes to clothes. i can never let go of some top because i am alswasy sure i will wear it again sometime but actually never do