First things first--here are a few snapshots from my weekend at the Outer Banks, as promised:
our beach house. literally right ON the beach!
Cape Hatteras lighthouse
Us in front of the lighthouse*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
OOPS! how did this picture get in here?! ;-) this is a random breakfast of blueberry pancakes topped with strawberries & whipped cream...my new summer favorite.*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
So, other than getting back in the groove after vacation, I have been babysitting. I also went into mom's office with her today (yes, on a Saturday!) to help her get some stuff done. I was her personal filer/paper shredder/report proofreader. It was actually kind of fun!
Recently I have been doing a lot of thinking. About life, the future, where I want to be in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years...and also, my current relationship. I admit, I wasn't completely honest when I spoke about my trip with B in my last post. Yes, it was fun, but we also had quite a few disagreements over the course of a few days. I have noticed that things between us aren't the same as they were a few months ago. We've only been dating 5 months, but I already feel unsure about where this relationship is going, and to be honest, I don't know where B really fits into my future. I don't want to go into too much detail on the blog, for fear of him (or someone close to him) reading this, and because I respect the privacy of our relationship. However, I have been feeling uneasy about us lately, and I often find that he is condescending towards me and does not take my feelings into account. He will brush something off, even when I tell him it is important to me. Small example: While driving, he took control of the music selection with his phone and iPod. I happened to mention that I liked a song that had just come on, and B said "Ugh, this song is SO overplayed!" and proceeded to skip to another song. Is this a big deal? Nah, not really. But things like this happened often--it wasn't just an isolated incident. I feel that in a relationship, you are supposed to be a team, and both partners' opinions and feelings should be taken into consideration. Compromise is healthy and necessary. And right now, I feel like I'm compromising everything, while he is compromising nothing.
Any advice? Am I being too sensitive and I should just let it go? Or should I listen to my gut, which is telling me that if I have a serious talk with him about this and things don't change, it may be time for me to let go.
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you're having troubles with B. I would definitely encourage you to talk about what you are feeling with him. He may have no idea how you feel. Honesty is so key, so get it all out in the open so you both can determines what the best steps to take are. His reactions to how you are feeling will tell you a lot.
I know there are so many times when I have bottled up an issue I was having with my husband for fear of appearing too sensitive or high-maintenance. The more I bottled it up, the more it built up. Once I finally talked to my husband about whatever it was, I find that he has no idea how I was feeling and wished that I had told him sooner so that we could talk about how to make it better.
I hope that helps! Let us know how it goes.
-Emily
Hey Coco,
ReplyDeleteI go through the SAME kind of stuff with D. Just the other day, he friended his ex-gf on FB. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but he's always said how much he hated her and such and it took him several months to actually stop talking about her and really get over her. So seeing that, I got kind of scared and a bit upset - why would he friend her if he hated her as much as he says, right? We talked about it (he said "I debated on it for 2 hours. I was just curious) Its OK now I guess. But I still feel like he doesn't really think much about my feelings. This isn't the first time things like that have happened either. :\
I know its hard. I love D very much and even after all the frustration he causes me, at the end of the day he's still the one I want to be with. But I do still sometimes question whether or not its worth it.
I wish I had an actual answer for you. All I can say is to try talking to him first before making any big decisions. And if things don't change, then you need to decide whether the bad outweighs the good. Its a hard call to make, I know. That's what I need to do too. So, know you aren't alone. Things will work out the right way in the end though, so don't fret too too much.
xo
Tori
I'm sorry you've been having some strifes in your relationship...there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but both individuals have to work together to form compromises, and learn to accept each other. The things you mentioned is small, but they can add up...and they can break your relationship up, too. I think it really measures up to how much you are willing to give up and commit to this relationship...and how much HE is willing, too. It's a two hands clap thing...I don't think there is a definite answer to this, but I really hope you find the best, most peaceful way to deal with this situation. Best of luck to you!
ReplyDelete