I just want to say that I am SO glad I stumbled upon this blogging community. Without reading of your weaknesses, struggles, strengths, and accomplishments, I would never be able to come to terms with my own. I have been struggling mentally lately, and also physically, as I haven't gained in over a month :-( But reading your blogs keeps me going, and makes me know that I'm not alone!
So, the 4th of July weekend ended up being pretty good, actually. My aunt and uncle came, and I was nervous because on Saturday there was a LOT of food--we had a crab feast in the afternoon, and burgers and bratwurst later in the night. I tried a little bit of everything, and it was just fine. Then on Sunday we went to Harper's Ferry, WV, which is this super-cool historical town 45 minutes away. We walked around, and when my family wanted to stop for ice cream I almost freaked out, but my mom was really awesome about it and we shared a "small" cup--which was HUGE for a SMALL. I'd say we each got like 2 cups of ice cream! haha.
A lot of going out to eat recently. But I've been getting a lot better at it. Sunday we all went for italian, and I let myself get my old favorite--shrimp fra diavolo. It was fantastic!
Last night was interesting. My friend Trisha and I met up for dinner. She is a recovering anorexic/bulimic/compulsive overexerciser. She is 22, and for her it started as early as 5th grade. We had a lot in common and really learned a lot about each other, but I feel like she was bringing me down.
For example, she kept saying that it will never go away and that I'll just have to learn to deal with it, basically. Then I think she could tell I was a bit upset by this, so she quickly said "Well, maybe for me it's different since it went on for so long. You at least have some reference of a normal childhood and normal eating to go back to."
But it just made me sad. She said she still won't drink caloric beverages, and she still measures things, and she still calculates everything in her mind. I was hoping that going to dinner with her would reassure me and encourage me, but now I feel so hopeless.
However, I can't let someone else's negativity bring me down! It's mind over matter! Just because she chooses to "give in" to the ED thoughts doesn't mean I have to, right???
So tonight, my younger cousin Natasha (she's 11) is going to be in a play. Her camp is doing High School Musical, and she is Sharpay! hahaha. Never actually saw the movie, but it should be cute. Only thing is, this means ANOTHER dinner out. It's also my Mom-mom's birthday, so we're going to some tapas place beforehand to celebrate. I don't even know what that means! *sigh* wish me luck!