Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Oh, how I miss Paris....

leisurely strolls to the Eiffel Tower...

visiting Claude Monet's home...

experiencing the majesty of God...

standing at the base of the Arc du Triomphe...

fountains and beautiful gardens and castles....

& luscious pastries galore...

Just a handful of the splendid experiences I miss from my trip to France......


Ok, so, thank you all SO INCREDIBLY MUCH for your kind words of support and encouragement on my last post. And thanks also for kicking some sense back into me! I WILL beat this thing, and I have already come so far, and I am NOT fat, and I probably never will be. 

Saturday night made things a whole lot better. Once again, I would post pictures but my camera cord is at school. So, when I move in this weekend (THIS WEEKEND! I can't believe it!!!), I will be sure to post some. Except, we haven't set up our cable or internet in our new house, so I may be MIA for a few days next week til it all gets worked out.


Originally a group of girls was going to go out and drink and dance, but it ended up being just my friend Kristen (one of the girls from my 21st birthday bash) and I. And actually, it was really really nice just the two of us. She goes to UMBC (University of Maryland Baltimore County), and I met up with her at her apartment, which is only 30 minutes from my house. I met her roommates' 4 adorable little kittens, and then Kristen took me to this place for a late, swanky dinner:


It's a Japanese Fusion bar, and I got a shrimp teriyaki bowl with veggies and rice, and a Ninja to drink--it was divine! The "Ninja" includes: Van Gogh Double Espresso Vodka, Creme de Menthe, Creme de Cacao, and a splash of cream. Basically, it tasted like mint chocolate chip ice cream with a twist. We also split the Banana Wontons for dessert, which are fried wontons with banana, chocolate, brown sugar, and cinnamon inside, topped with chocolate sauce and served with Kahlua espresso ice cream! Needless to say, I felt very well-fed and satisfied.

After our meal, the rain was letting up (thank goodness!), so we drove into Baltimore city for a night on the town. Our first choice, Fells Point, seemed lame--there were people my parents' age at all the bars! We quickly changed our minds and went back to Federal Hill, where we had spent my birthday. We spent our whole night, from 11pm to 2am, at Mad River Bar and Grille! It was amazing!!!

I felt SO much better about myself. I wore the black and white dress I posted pics of before, and I actually felt pretty. Men bought us drinks, men danced with us, and 2 British boys invited us back to the Holiday Inn with them (we went, which was stupid, but then left right away because it was super sketchy and Kristen and I are NOT sluts. Flirts, yes, but sluts, no! haha).

All in all, Saturday night was fabulous. I was SO happy that I drank (I still have a weird complex about caloric beverages, alcoholic or otherwise, and am still trying to overcome this by trading my usual Diet Soda at lunch for a glass of juice or lemonade). I drank vodka and cranberry, which in my ED days would have been considered WAY too caloric. I also had a shot of sweet tea Firefly vodka (paid for by a man named Alex who was supposedly "24" but I think was probably 30 hahaha), and also had a gin and tonic.

Sunday, I paid for it though. I was feeling suuuper hung over for the first time since my birthday! I am going to try not to make binge-drinking a habit at school. Yes, going out to the clubs and dancing is (and was!) super-fun, but I am going to try to pace myself more. Plus, I'm spunky even when I'm sober, and totally not afraid to dance like an idiot even if I haven't had a drop of alcohol. So my goal when the semester starts is to limit drinking to the weekends, and to never have more than 3 drinks in one "sitting". I think this is reasonable. I can still get "tipsy" and have fun and dance, but I won't be feeling like crap the whole next day.

Sunday, my parents and I went shoe shopping and I bought this ridiculous pair of SILVER 4-inch heels that I plan on strutting my stuff in at the bar. WOO! They were $19 on sale, and something VERY outside of my comfort zone, but I figured why not! You only live once, right??

I also took a 2-mile jog with my dad, which I haven't really done in awhile. It was nice, but I definitely am kind of "out of shape". Oh well. I need to focus on getting to a healthier, happier body weight before I stress myself out about my pathetic 9-minute-mile pace.

I am going to try to be positive this week. It's my last few days at home, so I am spending my days packing, doing yoga, reading and writing, collaging, and getting everything ready for school. I want to enjoy my last few days of boringness. I've been complaining all summer about boredom, but now that work is right around the corner, I want to put on the brakes and take some time to relax!!!!!

Hope you all take some time to relax, as well. 

Thanks for everything. You ladies have changed my life, and in some ways, even saved it. I am incredibly thankful for the support of this community of beautiful, strong, intelligent women. 

Do something for YOURSELF today!


  1. I don't think 9 minute miles are pathetic at all! Because then I'd have to call myself pathetic, and I refuse to do that ;) I think jogging should be something you enjoy at a comfortable pace when you feel like it, not something you make yourself believe you "have" to race for x distance at x minutes.

    It's great to hear you kicking ED back in the face and taking on the good days to come!

  2. Completing a 2mile jog is something in itself!...I know I couldn't!!
    Paris is an amazing city...so pretty and excting yet historic and OOOH SO ROMANTIC! haha!
    I'm so glad your're feeling more positive now (I've just caught up on previous posts)...and having FUN...the hangover is a small price to pay for a great night out!
    Enjoy the relaxing..I know how hard it is to appriciate "down time" when you have it but goodness knows you will miss it! Take care :) x

  3. I'm so glad you're having a good time and moving forward, you totally deserve it.

  4. Hey huni, thank you for the comment, and yes I will carry on :)
    I am thrilled to hear you had a great night out/weekend. High 5 for the vodka cranberry drink...I did it too :P woohoo
    Limiting drinks is probably a good idea, for now anyways. How much does it actually affect our recovery process damage wise??
    Much love xxx

  5. Hey Coco,
    I am so glad to hear you like the necklace! I hope you enjoy everything I sent you. Even if you feel you are struggling at the moment, as far as I can tell, it sounds like you are still making strides. Recovery isn't all about eating - its about living and learning that you deserve good in life. And I don't know about you, but for me a new pair of shoes always makes the day pretty damn good. Enjoy the new heels - they sound totally badass. I have a pair of 4" black patent mary janes. We can both wear are shoes and be insanely tall and fabulous with pride ^.^



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